Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Hickeygate 2008

So begins another cycle of the Diet Coke Dating Horror Show.

This time around, I was/am re-dating a person [henceforth "Gameboy" - because he designs video games] that I previously dated, but then stopped dating because I got semi-serious with someone else instead [the guy I picked over Gameboy turned out to be a total whacko, but then I maybe should have deduced that early on given his die hard obsession with Proust and Morrisey]. I was going through my emails the other day and came upon exchanges with Gameboy, and was reminded of how he was both cute and sweet. Plus he called me almost immediately after our first date, which is the type of early dating behavior I tend to favor.

Sure, several months had passed, but what was the harm in emailing him to see if he wanted to grab a drink? So I did just that. And much to my amazement he emailed back, and not just to tell me to shove off. We ended up getting together last weekend [Friday night] for dinner at a vegan place called Cru in Silverlake. After dinner we headed to 4100 Bar - a cool bar where good dates go to die [or maybe just my dates]. And by "some drinks", I mean he had one scotch to my three Kettle/soda's.

At 4100 Bar, things got a little strange. He didn't want to order another drink, which made me think he was over the date. As we were walking out, I was fully prepared to say goodbye. Instead he suggested that we walk over to a coffee shop we had seen earlier. The coffee place was closed, so we continued walking around for a bit looking for places to go until it was decided that we'd go back to my place [Very clever tactic, Gameboy. Very clever indeed.]

Back at my place, Gameboy drank tea, which concerned me greatly. Diet Coke likes alcohol on a Friday night, not tea. My fears were quelled when he insisted that I drink whatever I please. And I think he meant it. Or at least I hope so. Anyhow, we hung out for a long while, chatted, joked, laughed, blah blah. I ended up having a lot of fun and decided that I liked Gameboy [which of course, means that Gameboy cannot like me].

Saturday was stressful, because being crazy as I am, I expected that Gameboy would call/text/email me. He did not. Not being able to contain myself, and knowing full well that I would have been better served by doing nothing, I texted him anyhow. This of course led to additional hours of agony as Gameboy did not respond. Or at least not until Sunday, when he asked if I wanted to see a movie at his place. I of course, despite knowing that I should have pretended to have better things to do, accepted his offer. [Clearly, I could use some of those horrible "Rules" in my life]

All was going well until, as I got ready to leave, I glanced at his neck and realized the he had a hickey, junior high style. As I imagined the thirty two year old man standing before me going to work with a giant red mark on his neck, naturally, I laughed out loud. Two seconds later, completely in jest [I swear it], I uttered five tiny words.

"You are a marked man."

His whole expression changed. As if I had some how branded him on purpose so all the ladies of the world knew that he was mine, mine, mine. When in fact, I think he probably just has sensitive skin.

Anyhow, I left. No word from Gameboy since. Sad, because I could have totally dug him.

But then again, if he can't handle a hickey and a harmless remark, it was doomed anyhow.

And finally, I am clearly doing something wrong when it comes to this whole "dating" gig.

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