Sunday, January 27, 2008

The Evil Troll Makes Me Break My Promise.

The Evil Troll with whom I am forced to co-habitate has literally gone off her rocker today. Also, I know that I said that I would not write about her again, I can't help myself. She has literally ruined my day. AHHHHH!!!!!

She sent me a text that read:

"Do not throw away my copies of Variety that get delivered to the house. I don't throw away your things and you have no right to throw away mine."

I replied [Note: I regret very much that I replied. Evil Troll obviously is crazy* and thus incapable of communication with. Trying only makes me 1) as crazy as her and 2) frustrated] with the following:

"I have never thrown away your Variety mag or anything of yours. You are way out of line."

[Note: I truly have not thrown away her magazines. As much I dislike her (and I dislike her a LOT) I am not the type to do something to someone else or their property.]

She writes back: "There were 2 of my variety's that I have never seen in the kitchen trash can when I arrived home. Since you and I are the only two who live here, and I didn't throw them away myself, you had to have thrown them away. When I see my property in the trash and I did not put it there, it is not out of line to tell you not to throw my things away."

I write: "Like I said before, I did not throw them away. Rest assured that I have no fear of telling you if I had. Let's just agree to disagree and not touch each other's stuff. I dont want any more trouble with you. I just want my peace and for us to just leave each other alone."

Troll writes: "Not believable Diet Coke. The newspapers didn't get up and walk themselves into the trash. It doesn't make sense that neither you nor I threw then away and yet there they were on top of the trash. Perhaps Certain Someone, your parents, or another house guest of yours? Either way, whether it was you or someone you brought to the house, you are still responsible. I don't know about the touching each other part of your text. That's a weird thing to say and doesn't make sense in the context of this conversation, or any for that matter. Im sure neither of us want to spend our sunday texting about this, so let's just agree not to throw each other's things away."

1. Are you fucking kidding me? Was this conversation really had?? Yes. Yes it was. Also, why in the hell is she digging around in the trash? Creepy.

2. How am I expected to deal with this insane person who accuses me of doing things I am not doing??!?! Her telling me I threw her magazine away is like me telling her she did it. And then her saying she did not. And then me saying she did!! CRAZY!! And I have to live with her. It is seriously like torture.

3. What is this strange thing she said about "touching each other." Was the trying to be funny? Is this a further indication of her crazy??!! I don't get it.

4. Most important, how am I supposed to feel comfortable living with this insane person? I feel like she may try to poison me in my sleep. For real for real. This is not right. To this point, I was at my parents house tonight, and my Mom's friend Margarita, who is just the kindest soul ever, and who has met Evil Troll on several occasions said:

She is the kind of girl that would try to sleep with your husband while you are out of town.
Funny because it's true.

5. Troll is a really bad person. If Karma does exist (and I think it does), she better tread with a lot of caution because the Universe probably has her on a most wanted list.

*This latest event is not all that Evil Troll has done to show her crazy. She also took it upon herself to send a totally dishonest letter to our landlord "terminating our lease" for an alleged breach of the lease by landlord...WITHOUT TALKING TO ME!!! The co-tenant on the lease!!! Crazy. She then sent me am email accussing me of lying to her about how much the bills are. I then sent her a copy of all the bills. She then decided that she still was not going to pay them. Why? Because she is CRAZY!!! And there is soooo much more.

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