Thursday, January 17, 2008

The electoral process is for the birds.

I read an article on the world wide Internet today that got me thinking. The gist of the article was that some judge decided that Nevada's Democratic Party can go ahead and set up precincts in Las Vegas casinos for the caucuses set to take place this weekend. Then the Teachers Union got all in a tizzy because they aren't on the strip. Then the Nevada Culinary Workers Union (can't make this shit up) got all in a tizzy back at the Teacher's Union accusing them of hating black people...err, I mean supporting Hillary.

Anyhoo, long story short, the absurdity of it all made me wonder: Whatever the fuck ever happened to the notion of reasonable campaigns? Having a limited amount to spend, casting a secret ballot, having said ballot get counted, and then determining a winner. That is how I got elected as my third grade class representative, and let me tell you folks, the system worked pretty fucking well.

Back in my politico days, each "candidate" was permitted three dollars* (with inflation, probably around 5 of today's dollar's - which is a fortune for a third grader) and 2 days to campaign. No mud slinging, name calling, or finger pointing permitted (sadly my "Paula Is Poopie, Pick Me Instead" buttons never got to see a single lapel"). On election day, children were shooed into the auditorium during lunch where they could cast a secret vote for their fave (me, obviously) in makeshift voting booths. Post lunch, votes were tallied by the principal, recounted by the vice principal and then read aloud over the intercom system. No exit polling, pundit predictions or the like permitted.

And let me tell you - us kids were way into it. More so than birthday parties where parents brought in cupcakes (with sprinkles!!!). More so than heads up seven-up on rainy days. Even more than the last day of school. Ok, fine, maybe not the last day of school. But you catch my drift.

Nowadays, even civil minded people can't be bothered to vote. Probably because voting takes place using absurd, stupid, outdated, laaaaame caucuses in the middle of casinos on the las vegas strip, campaigns last forever, too much money is spent and too much time is wasted. And sometimes, our votes don't even get counted.

* Funding was provided by my public school, and thus the taxpayers of American. Thanks for that, btw.

In other news, Former Prez Clinton had a hissy fit over questions he was asked regarding the Nevada caucuses court case by a reporter. He accused said reporter of being accusatory. Hah!

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